oh my maternal heart…your words hit home on many, many levels. we can talk more about when we go to buffalo together 💛 until then, holding you in love and wishing you and your strength and healing in recovery.
This is beautiful, Asha. There were so many lines I'd highlight, but this part really hit home: "Who someone is to you isn’t all of who they are. But who they are for other people doesn’t erase who they are, or were, to you, either." I'm so glad your family is OK for now.
My goodness, Asha, I'm so sorry. Holding you and your son and your family in peace and comfort.
I agree that the idea of forgiveness is worthy of consideration. I saw a bumper sticker (oddly enough, in the parking lot of my polling place on election day, which spurred a brief and lovely interaction of solidarity) that said "I will not tolerate your bullshit, but I wish you peace." And similarly to your thoughts, that feels like forgiveness to me--grace and the letting go of anger, but not at the expense of one's own well-being. Thanks for caring so deeply and thoughtfully, and taking the time out to share with all of us. <3
Thanks so much for sharing. Your writing is so powerful, and you are such a source of truth and Light for so many. Please know I am sending Otto and all of you all my love and Light. May you continue to find grace as you move through this. Thanks for being willing to share it.
Currently estranged from my narcissistic, abusive mother since October, and the quote about what someone is to you and what they are to someone else rings so very true.
Sending you and your family healing energy, love, and comfort. 🩵
Asha, I started to write a comment. When it turned into a short novel I decided it was about me more than you so started over. Suffice it to say that this piece touched on many issues that are ripe in my life. Thank you. I will hold you and your kids in the Light. And keep working to find peace with the ways that the story has changed, is changing, and will keep effing changing in my life.
Oh goodness, I'm so glad he's better. The mama bear is strong. The single mama bear is even stronger, if perhaps more brittle. My kids were 10, 10, and 13 when their father died. And I was fired twice that year. I don't know if I know how to turn it off. But they are 18, 18, and 21 now. One is trans, one is a permanently disabled brain tumor survivor since age 15, and one is my baby. All are headed to college/grad school. And the bond among the brothers is incredible to see.
And your forgiveness insights are spot on. I'm working on mine, to move beyond pity, which allows me to feel superior, but likely doesn't stick where I want it to. Thank you for sharing your journey through all the complexities. <3
There's so much in this that feels like some of my history: a child hurting while the other waits for you, not accepting forgiveness as necessary, god that needs to be said more. I felt like I was riding in that car with you all these thoughts circulated in and out of your brain mixed with worry and stress.
Thank you so very very much for sharing all this tender, true pain and not-knowing. I'm so glad Otto is okay, and I know well what "okay" can mean. I stand with you in the feels and the wonder and the way the kaleidoscope can shift just a bit and let new colors in.
Oh my goodness, I am so glad that Otto is okay, and that you were able to find some grace in that terrifying situation. Beautifully felt, and written. Sending a big, heartfelt hug to you and your babies. ❤️🙏🏻✨❤️ And holding you all in light and love.
Dearest friend,
oh my maternal heart…your words hit home on many, many levels. we can talk more about when we go to buffalo together 💛 until then, holding you in love and wishing you and your strength and healing in recovery.
xoxoxo
This is beautiful, Asha. There were so many lines I'd highlight, but this part really hit home: "Who someone is to you isn’t all of who they are. But who they are for other people doesn’t erase who they are, or were, to you, either." I'm so glad your family is OK for now.
This line really resonated for me too!
My goodness, Asha, I'm so sorry. Holding you and your son and your family in peace and comfort.
I agree that the idea of forgiveness is worthy of consideration. I saw a bumper sticker (oddly enough, in the parking lot of my polling place on election day, which spurred a brief and lovely interaction of solidarity) that said "I will not tolerate your bullshit, but I wish you peace." And similarly to your thoughts, that feels like forgiveness to me--grace and the letting go of anger, but not at the expense of one's own well-being. Thanks for caring so deeply and thoughtfully, and taking the time out to share with all of us. <3
Thanks so much for sharing. Your writing is so powerful, and you are such a source of truth and Light for so many. Please know I am sending Otto and all of you all my love and Light. May you continue to find grace as you move through this. Thanks for being willing to share it.
Currently estranged from my narcissistic, abusive mother since October, and the quote about what someone is to you and what they are to someone else rings so very true.
Sending you and your family healing energy, love, and comfort. 🩵
Kris if you haven't read Children of Emotionally Immature Parents I highly recommend.
This is beautiful. There is so much truth here.
Asha, I started to write a comment. When it turned into a short novel I decided it was about me more than you so started over. Suffice it to say that this piece touched on many issues that are ripe in my life. Thank you. I will hold you and your kids in the Light. And keep working to find peace with the ways that the story has changed, is changing, and will keep effing changing in my life.
If you want to send the comment to me directly, feel free. Sometimes we need witness.
Thank you for sharing this with us, Asha. I'm so glad Otto is healing!
Oh goodness, I'm so glad he's better. The mama bear is strong. The single mama bear is even stronger, if perhaps more brittle. My kids were 10, 10, and 13 when their father died. And I was fired twice that year. I don't know if I know how to turn it off. But they are 18, 18, and 21 now. One is trans, one is a permanently disabled brain tumor survivor since age 15, and one is my baby. All are headed to college/grad school. And the bond among the brothers is incredible to see.
And your forgiveness insights are spot on. I'm working on mine, to move beyond pity, which allows me to feel superior, but likely doesn't stick where I want it to. Thank you for sharing your journey through all the complexities. <3
There's so much in this that feels like some of my history: a child hurting while the other waits for you, not accepting forgiveness as necessary, god that needs to be said more. I felt like I was riding in that car with you all these thoughts circulated in and out of your brain mixed with worry and stress.
I am so glad to have stumbled here this morning. I feel so seen by every word of this re forgiveness and coparenting.
Thank you so very very much for sharing all this tender, true pain and not-knowing. I'm so glad Otto is okay, and I know well what "okay" can mean. I stand with you in the feels and the wonder and the way the kaleidoscope can shift just a bit and let new colors in.
I'm so glad this post found its way to me today.
Oh my goodness, I am so glad that Otto is okay, and that you were able to find some grace in that terrifying situation. Beautifully felt, and written. Sending a big, heartfelt hug to you and your babies. ❤️🙏🏻✨❤️ And holding you all in light and love.