DISCUSSION: What's your one good thing?
That you're doing to take care of yourself right now
You know what? We’re nearly 1000 community members strong! Which is a much bigger party than I’d ever want to attend in person. Still, help a woman out? Please and thank you.
Hey, all. How are we surviving this endless Janbruary? I mean, the bad weather and fires and coup-ing and measles outbreaks and declarations of monarchy, not to mention the need to reach out to Congress, like, every day? Plus, in my household, life threatening medical crises to add that little hint of WT ever-loving F?!?
I don’t know about you, but I’m overstimulated, overwhelmed, over-obligated, and the reality is there’s no guaranteed end in sight. Which might be enough to make anyone want to retreat entirely— from the news, the world, the work.
Though I empathize with this feeling, and advocate for strategic retreat as a perfectly good, long-term coping choice, I also took strength from something my latest author-crush, Lidia Yuknavitch, said in an interview with Jane Ratcliffe in her newsletter Beyond this week:
Another thing I'm reminded of is that those of us who have been carrying past abuse, or difficulty, or trauma, or illness, or disability, or oppressions and repressions, and carrying the water of that and the shit of that, and the trying to help with that, we're particularly well-resourced for this moment. People can treat us like we carry woe and it’s a heaviness we have but really we have the skill set needed. And we've spent our whole lives working on those skills.
What are those skills? Lidia doesn’t elucidate them, but speaking for myself, they’re a bedrock commitment to endure and resist. As in, if this horror hasn’t killed me, what hope do you think you have, Mister? I am a dandelion growing out of the sidewalk, a Twinkie left after an apocalypse.
Still, it’s essential not to simply keep breathing and survive, but to thrive, even in these times. What better middle finger to authoritarianism is there than that?
My definition of thriving? Feeling well loved and connected, making choices I can stand behind, and staying comfortably inside my own skin.
Which brings me to our discussion today. What are you doing to take care of yourself so you can thrive long-term, even in the face of what’s happening in the world?
I’ll kick us off with my own list:
Prioritizing good sleep! Seriously, sleep is the best drug for my mental and physical health. These days, I protect my sleep like Gollum and his Precious. I keep a consistent bedtime, don’t eat or drink too close to the end of the day, and keep electronics in my bedroom to the bare minimum. There is no scrolling in my bed, ever. That’s not what it’s for. When my brain is going a mile a minute, I also take a low-THC CBD gummy to settle. They don’t get me high. They just slow me down enough to fall asleep. If I’ve gotten a good night’s sleep, no matter what comes, I know I can handle it.
Sending daily love notes! Ever since the election, I’ve been texting and messaging my nearest and dearest to tell them I love them every day. Sometimes it’s just a simple “Love you ❤️”. Sometimes I give them an update on my day and ask how they are. Sometimes they respond. Sometimes they don’t, which is fine because conversation is a bonus, not the point. The point is to remind myself every day what (and who) my yes is. What I’m fighting for. That I know how to love and be loved. Do you think Donald Trump knows how to love and be loved? No, he does not. And that knowing? That’s my superpower.
Regular, low-intensity movement! Look, I lost any willingness to go to a gym years ago. I’m more of the opinion that as I get older, my ability to engage in functional movement (walking up and down stairs confidently, getting up and down off the floor, etc.) is the most important thing. Luckily, I’m temperamentally a walker, like my grandma before me, who never learned to drive and walked 3-5 miles a day until she was 90 years old. This winter I’m not walking to work. It’s too cold and icy for me that early in the day. But I do walk to the bus stop in the mornings and also the two miles home in the afternoon, five days a week, no matter the weather. On the weekends, just the necessary chores of my life keep me moving and in my body. Disassociation is a spirit killer for me historically, but I’m staying inside these days. Thank the Lorde.
Laughing as often as possible! It will likely not surprise you that I can be a little over-serious, so I’ve been seeking out laughter to lighten my days. The podcast Working it Out, hosted by stand-up comedian and storyteller Mike Birbiglia, is a current favorite of mine. I’ve also been watching stand-up. Anything to get me smiling. And if there’s belly laughing? All the better.
Caring for plants! I could have said caring for my cat, but honestly, she’s a total bed hog and tends to throw up on my rug. My plants are so much less demanding and problematic. Seeing them thrive, even in the dead of winter, reminds me that I know how to take care of vulnerable things and encourage vibrant life around me. Do you think Elon Musk could keep a plant alive? Not likely. Again, SUPERPOWER.
Now, it’s your turn.
I got my sugar snap peas planted! Hope in a tiny seed.
It’s not above freezing, but the sky is blue, the clouds are fluffy and the sun is out making the icicles drip. 🙂