My son turned 21 years old this week. Twenty-one! Unsurprisingly, this means I’ve been thinking about him a lot— who he’s becoming and who I’ve become alongside him. It also got me thinking about the people in our lives who teach us how to practice our integrity.
Since he’s my kid, you could argue that whatever my son has learned about how to show up in the world he learned from me. But I’ve always felt that both my kids were very distinctly their own people, and who they’ve become has as much to do with who they are inherently as anything I’ve managed to impart. The portion of life where I was obviously the teacher and they were the students ended a long time ago. I’ve been learning at their feet for years and am so grateful.
Because my son is both trans and neurodivergent, he’s had to work hard and intentionally to assert who he is amid systems that seek to define and limit him in ways that contradict his deep knowing about himself. Despite the stress of that struggle, he continues to be kind, creative, playful, and loving. He has a profound sense of justice and a desire to be of service. He invests in his community, prioritizes relationship and connection, and embraces accountability.
He teaches me more about practicing integrity than anyone I’ve ever known simply by being himself.
On his birthday he hugged me and thanked me for being his mom. The feeling goes both ways, I told him. What a gift he is to me!
What about you? Who in your world (in the past or currently) models integrity for you?
My children also inspire my integrity practice. I want to be the best version of myself for them.
Happy birth day to both of you. I agree that our kids are their own people, right from the beginning.