Sh*t To Help You Show Up July 29, 2022
Revisiting what we're about here.
Welcome back to all of you returning folks! And welcome to all of our new folks, as well. There are a lot of you! Why? Well, I wrote an essay for another Substack newsletter, Oldster Magazine, which came out this past Monday and got a ton of traffic. Those of you who haven’t read it can see for yourself what the excitement is about below. (And subscribe to Oldster while you’re at it, please)
Given that we have so many new folks, I thought I’d take this opportunity to revisit what we’re doing here at Let Your Life Speak. It’s been a while. So, here goes…
First, here’s what you can expect to receive from me. On Mondays, I mostly publish personal essays, and on Fridays, I mostly publish resource-focused essays under the heading Sh*t To Help You Show Up. I say mostly because sometimes I change my mind, or something out of the ordinary feels pressing.
Periodically, I also publish interviews with paying subscribers about their integrity practice for our collective enjoyment and edification. Sometimes I record my essays and include those recordings along with the text in case you, like me, are someone who likes audio. Occasionally I also include videos in the newsletters. I’d love to do more open threads so you all can teach and support each other. Let me know what you think.
Folks on my free list hear from me twice a month, in the middle and at the end. Folks on my paying list hear from me twice a week. If I write something for the paid folks which I wish everybody would read I might set it to send out to free folks five to six weeks later.
Periodically, I include a free trial so everyone can check out the experience of being a paid subscriber. Publishing this newsletter is joyful work, but work all the same. I dig fairly deeply into my own life, am always on the lookout for resources to help us all in our practice, and present all of it in as compelling a way as I know how. If you appreciate the labor I put in I hope you’ll consider compensating me for it.
If, however, you wish you could become a paying subscriber but just can’t swing it financially, let me know. My Founding Members have seeded a scholarship fund that allows me to extend paying subscriptions to anyone that needs one, no questions asked. Just email me. We take care of each other here.
That’s the basics of when and how you’ll hear from me. As for what you’ll hear from me? We’re here to talk about integrity– what it is and how we actually practice it as imperfect human beings.
For a long time, integrity was something that only got talked about in religious settings. It was taught as the adherence to religious belief, in both word and action. To be out of integrity was a source of shame.
Not only is shaming people a crappy way to teach anything but increasing numbers of people also aren’t involved in any kind of formal religious community. Yet they still want to live a grounded, introspective life, a life that speaks true to what they believe. My mission here is to widen the conversation on integrity to everyone, regardless of religious affiliation, spiritual perspective, or lack thereof. If you are interested in how to show up for your life with intention such that your beliefs and your behavior function as a fairly cohesive whole, then welcome to the conversation.
As for what integrity is? First of all, it’s a process and a practice, not some immutable aspect of character that can be attained, and then you’re done. If we are learning and growing as people then we are changing constantly. The world is similarly changing all around us. Integrity is the practice of navigating our relationship with ourselves and others in a way that is grounded in our deepest beliefs without becoming boxed in by them. It is being both anchored and fluid, rooted yet flexible, constant but not fixed.
The word integrity comes from the same root as integer, the word for a whole number, and thus is also related to the notion of wholeness. We come into this life as whole beings, but family and society split us away from parts of ourselves. We disavow the parts that are painful, uncomfortable, or different. We project the parts that we dislike or don’t know how to carry onto other people.
Integrity is integrating our beliefs and actions. It’s standing up publicly for what we believe in and being willing to face the consequences. It’s also the process of gathering all our disparate pieces back in and making peace with the mess of it all. It’s understanding that other people are similarly divided and searching and messy, but also whole and autonomous. It’s having boundaries but also being kind.
Mercy and compassion for ourselves and others, which we discuss with some regularity here, aren’t in the definition of integrity but it’s impossible to practice successfully without them.
Integrity is not an easy path, honestly. The world is moving faster and faster. Institutions are crumbling all around us. Corruption is ubiquitous and truth is constantly up for debate. Personally, we are more exposed than ever but less connected. Yet, integrity can’t flourish in the absence of connection, and authenticity will only ever be a trendy buzzword without the space for honesty and vulnerability.
So, in the midst of the unexpected twists and turns, the triumphs and losses, the windfalls and crises, we work to show up wholeheartedly. We try and fail and try again. Hopefully, we accept the inevitability and usefulness of making mistakes. We learn to ask for help. We cultivate relationships that hold us when we are lost or hurting, celebrate us unceasingly, and help us love our imperfect selves.
I am in the mess of it all with you, make no mistake. I’ve learned a lot over the course of my life about how to practice integrity, but I’m still practicing. Some days everything seems to be working like my life and self are a well-oiled and integrated machine, and some days I hit a wall and everything comes to a crashing halt. Then I have to pick up the pieces and begin again.
I’ll do my best to share all those days with you because I believe we need people who are willing to learn out loud. We need models that give us something to reach toward and remind us we’re not alone in the happy or the hard.
We need community and allies in our practice. That’s what you’ll find here.
I’m so glad you came.
XO, Asha
Loved your essay for Oldster! Glad to see you in the spotlight, Asha <3
I have found all this and MORE, Asha, in your LET YOUR LIFE SPEAK!!!